I was going to go to the movies tonight by myself. My husband is studying. But I changed my mind. I feel bad that this blog of mine, that I'm extraordinarily unattentive to, is for the most part just a spewing ground for when I'm in my aggravated moods. When I'm happy, I'm rarely tempted to sit and type. I like to be out and about, strolling the city, calling friends and leaving them messages that leave them wondering about me, dancing around the house or painting.

I've had a weird energy lately. It is a feeling that things are really pretty good for me now. I'm trying to push away the little gremlins that are trying to bug me. I hate to think it, but when things are going pretty good for a while, I feel like I'm just waiting for lightening to strike. How does one teach oneself to just enjoy happiness. I'm the hardest person for me to live with some times. Why am I so hard on myself? And here I go again... spewing.

But what is a blog good for if not to spew a little. So many people voice their frustrations on their blogs. So many people seem to want to change this or that about the world. I know I do. I think everyday about the way I'd like to see the world change. For one, I'd like to see a more equitable distribution of funds when it comes to education or even better funds for education tipped in the favor of the most needy. I'd also like to see more compassion among man kind. I'd like to see profitable businesses actually share the wealth with their employees instead of over compensating their CEOs. I'd like to see more dignity in government and people more interested in finding a solution than fronting or argueing. I'd like to see our government actually looking out for the best interest of all it's people, particularly those who have been the victems of abuses or who are in dire need of a leg up. But I could go on and on like this, as I'm sure many can. Every so often, I look at the bad things that go on in our world and I think, you know, it doesn't have to be that way! It could be different, if people would just be willing and would let go of just a little bit of their selfishness, in the long run it would be better for everybody, and there would be more good to go around.

God help us. I really hope mankind can find it's way.

My wandering spewing blog, and this when I'm anxious, but actually pretty happy, overall. I want to change something about myself. I want to start doing yoga, and I want to eat more healthy. This coming week, I'll see what I can do to change. I just wish I had more money. I could really use some classes. Money is such an enemy to me most of the time, if only I had more of it.