Thursday, May 24, 2007

so fleeting

What was my redemption the night before is the bane of my existance today. The project that was a gift of inspiration and which seemed to stop time has now become a slow drudgery that moves at a snails pace. I'm full of anxiousness and frustration and I just want to get out and run and run and run right off a cliff.

I haven't been in a more suicidal mood in some time. Not to worry though, my current suicide attempts are little more than obsessively trying to finish my project myself to death. At least it feels like it can kill me.

I feel so guilty. I feel like my time could be so much better spent doing, well, my laundry. And today is the day that I do it or die. Suicide by unclean wash....I wonder if anybody has died that way. I have one remaining pair of clean underwear in my drawer now, so the project I'm obsessing over will have to wait until I can do it with clean wash.

I'm in a very dangerous mood. I nearly spent $300 on Victoria Secret sale underwear, the only thing that stopped me is the thought of more sparkley duds I could spend that same $300 on should I ever make it to Egypt like I planned.

I'm off!


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